Updated: May 27, 2020
I've had my fair share of instances when this catch phrase has caught up with me. Our concerns, fears, and anxieties should just fall by the wayside over time right? "I mean, get over yourself, stop being so overly sensitive!" We all can think of a time when we've either stated these words to others or felt them ourselves. We live in a culture that has told you to be strong and pull yourself by your bootstraps, especially for those close to you. Unfortunately, our culture doesn't come with a great self-care plan for people who are left having to pour into others even well after their pitcher has ran dry. Can anyone else relate? I can. I've been programmed to believe the lie that stress, mental health struggles are all subjective. No one's really going through it, and if someone says that they are depressed or anxious, then they're either not praying enough or just too weak minded.
Let me be the first to apologize for some of the insensitive cliché remarks that some clergy, friends, and family members have stated in times of turmoil all in the name of comforting you right? Avoidance and masquerading your past hurts and trauma is just as bad as trying to put on a wet band aid. You'll never emotionally stick to the point. In order for us to have honest and healthy dialogue about mental health issues and the stigma that comes along with it, then
we have to begin to realize that it's not just me, it's not just us, and it's definitely not just you! Everyday we carry around our albatross of issues because we've drunk the "cool aid", and believed the insanity that we're the only one in this world that's hurting on this particular level. That is a flat out lie! We are all hurting and struggling on some level, and wear the daily costumes of "smiles, God bless you, I'll be alright, and it is what is". These words have adorned themselves around us like our modern day Halloween costumes. So we end up trick or treating for answers that we hope could bring us some level of relief from our unsettling thoughts and emotions.
Once we've come to the realization that it's not just us, then what are some practical steps in getting help? Help can come in many forms, whether that is you making up your resolve to engage in better self-care, talk to a trusted friend or family member, or seek out a therapist who you have come to trust and can relate to. In the end do something. Reach out to someone because if you remain adamant of never getting help, then you're really just reaffirming the myth that you're too defective to be helped, since it really is just you! So make today the day that it is no longer just you. Join the community of others like me, us, them, they, your local church, support groups, and people all over the world who have decided to not go at it alone.
© 2020 Marcken Volmy