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Managing Grief /Loss 

When experiencing grief it can last for a couple of days, weeks, months, or years. Grief can be attributed to the loss of a loved one, a violation, a disappointment, an end of a relationship without closure, or entering into an entirely new season in life. Regardless of the reason, grief is a natural rhythm in life that feels unnatural when experienced in real time.


The most ironic thing about grief is that we don’t always recognize it’s existence. What I mean by that, is that we may think that we’ve gotten over a particular person or situation, only to find out that grief manifest somatically (physically). Grief can show up in the following ways physically:


  • Raging anger or guilt

  • Feelings of euphoria or depression

  • Fatigue or a lack of energy

  • Feelings of irritability

  • Overworking, excessive sleeping

  • Headaches or stomach aches

  • Low energy


Image by Ben White

So many emotions, thoughts, and feelings will come up for someone that’s grieving. The grieving process is traumatic but not linear. It doesn’t follow a particular pattern or structure. Oftentimes, you may feel confused, overwhelmed, and stuck in the grieving process. It also isn’t a good idea to compare your grief to that of someone else’s. What may take someone six months to get over, may take you over a year, and that’s okay.


We have to learn to hold space and be present for others throughout their grief. Grief may be the loss of a family member or friend, career, relationship, moving to a new state or country, and most importantly, the grief that shows up when processing trauma. When processing grief in EMDR therapy, you’re grieving the offenses that were done against you, and also the developmental trauma, which involves the good things you didn’t get a chance to experience as a child. Good things such as, emotional security, safety, connection, attunement and nurturing and etc. Let’s process the grief that you’ve been suppressing for probably quite some time now.

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